Thursday, September 4, 2014

When God Doesn't Make Sense

By Hannah Firestone
Think about jewels. 
They are so rare and precious. Some are symbolic of a relationship or a child. Some adorn royalty. Few people would debate the worth of a diamond. The Bible is full of jewels: rare and precious treasures that God offers us for free. Every once in a while, a new jewel shimmers in our awareness as we read, meditate, and pray. Each is a gift. The largest jewel, of course, is Jesus Christ’s sacrifice.   

I want to show you a jewel from Psalm 139. 

This particular jewel shone brightly to me in the seventh grade. Yep, middle school, aka the height of identity crisis for every female. Am I pretty? Do people like me? Do I fit in? Do I look good in these shorts? Are my feet the right size? Does that boy have a crush on me? Does anyone love me?  

For me, the answer to all those questions was a resounding No. My logic was simple:

     1.       I do awful things.
     2.      I’m not doing any good.
     3.      Therefore, I’m worthless. No one loves me.

A lot of people arrive at this conclusion.

Then I read Psalm 139 (NIV). Here’s my thought process:

“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me…you are familiar with all my ways.”

Yikes. God is familiar with all my ways? This is not good news. He knows about all my failures, mistakes, beliefs, impure thoughts, and bad habits. I better run away from this guy.  

“Where can I flee from your presence? If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.”

Crap. I’m doomed. He knows me, I can’t escape, and I’m in for it.

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.”

Hold the phone. Knitting someone together must take a lot of care. Maybe this is going somewhere.  
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

(Insert tears here) I’m a work of God? I’m fearfully and wonderfully made?

“Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

God not only made me and watches over me, but he has big plans for me that he made before I was even born. Mind. Blown.

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”

Yes, Lord. Please.   

My new logic doesn’t make sense to me:

     1.      I do awful things.
     2.      God made me and loves me anyways.
     3.      I can do great things for his kingdom if I serve him.
     4.      I’m precious to him.

At any given moment, I’m more likely to feel the old logic. It’s how I’m wired. But I push it away. God’s love isn’t supposed to make sense. The truth of Psalm 139 isn’t fully understandable yet. One day, I’ll stand in God’s presence and bask in his love forever. Until then, I hold on to his promises and remember that, although he knows all my junk, my Creator adores me. 

What a jewel. It brought me back to Christ, and I hope it encourages you. When you find such a beautiful truth, hang on to it like a precious treasure. After all, diamonds are a girl’s best friend, right?

What biblical jewels remind you of God's love shown in Jesus Christ?

[Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos]

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