By Hannah Firestone
He came up to me and said, “Look,
Hannah, I just want to let you know that I really appreciate your modesty. The
other guys feel the same way.”
Seth was a good friend, so his
words meant a lot.
“Thanks, I try,” I replied.
And I did try. I tried to help my Christian
brothers. I realized how much they struggle with what they see, so I did my
best to make sure there wasn’t much to look at. In the words of a youth group
leader, I tried to “lift them up.” Not let them fall into sin. Men want a
woman they can respect. Modest is hottest.
So I wanted a length, in inches, of
how long my shorts could be above my knee. A length in centimeters of how far
away my shirt should fall from a beauty mark. How much bra strap to show? How much shoulder?
What about my midriff; cover it completely or can I allow a sliver?
Swimsuits
just made me angry. They break all the rules. I resorted to wearing a T-shirt
and shorts every time I went to the pool. “Are you insecure about your body?”
asked the friends. “No, I just feel immodest in a swimsuit.” And they looked
away, embarrassed in their bikinis.
The church boys
thanked me. Parents complimented my parents on their conservative daughter. I
saw the other girls wearing less than appropriate clothing, and I smiled to myself.
How immodest they are, how crude. I’m pleasing
in the Lord’s eyes.
I felt so smug in
my modesty. Then I became a Christian.
When I truly
recognized the power of what Jesus had done for me on the cross and accepted
Him as my Savior, I lost my shield of modesty. Before, I was like a Pharisee. I
prayed, “God, thank you that I’m not like the other girls who disobey you and
dress immodestly.” But I was never obeying the Lord. I was setting up my own
rules in order to please the people around me. It was fake worship.
God revealed this
to me as I got dressed one morning. I was examining my outfit and praying,
“God, is this modest enough?” I swear he shouted, “Who cares?” I plopped down
in front of the mirror in disbelief. Excuse me, God? You care; this is for you. Isn’t it?
He slowly brought
me to the realization that my personal dress code was never for His glory. It
was for my security. Modesty can be an idol. I’ve scoured the Bible for a dress
code. Nada. Funny, maybe God would have included it if it were a necessity.
Then my church had
a fun Q&A night. Anyone could submit questions anonymously, and my pastor would
answer them. Among questions about sexuality and spiritual growth lay this gem:
“What counts as modest?” I didn’t submit it.
But I sure as heck was grateful to whomever had the guts to fill out the
online form. I looked at him expectantly.
“Ask Jesus what
he thinks.” My pastor said matter-of-factly.
“Yeah,” someone retorted, “But then I could just claim that God told me
I could be immodest.” Not skipping a
beat, my pastor replied, “Only if we don’t follow a living, talking God, who communicates with his people!” If I ask Jesus what he thinks about my
clothing, then he will tell me. If I
search his Scripture, then the Holy Spirit will convict me.
And this point
really stood out to me. “I don’t care if
you run around naked in the streets like the prophet Isaiah, if that’s what God
asks you to do.” It had never occurred to me that God might ask you to do
something outrageous like that. But if I was going to be ready to obey Him, I
had to let go of my personal morality and surrender to the reign of the King. As Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, with Jesus as my
king, there are no minimum or maximum requirements for being a disciple, there
is only “Follow me!”
Modesty is not a
thing to stress over. It’s a thing to place in God’s hands. It’s not below his
intervention. If you’re someone who stresses over whether you’re dressing
modestly enough, I would encourage you to trade in your pride for obedience to
the Lord. Your clothes are not your gift
to the world.
If you’re someone who knows they dress to incite sin, I would
encourage you to trade in your pride for obedience to the Lord. Your clothes
are not where you should find your acceptance.
If you’re not sure, I would
encourage you to trade in your pride for obedience to the Lord. Your clothes
are not beneath your attention. Whoever you are, ask God for guidance, and when
he provides it, obey.
“But Hannah, how
will I know what He’s saying?” is what you’re thinking. I can only speak for
myself. For me, in addition to God’s word and the illumination of the Spirit in
prayer, it’s through my parents. They are both wonderful Christian individuals,
and I submit to them as the Bible commands. If an article of clothing is
questionable, I parade downstairs to ask my mom. More than once I’ve come down
saying, “Mom, I know this looks good on me and I really like it, but please
tell me I can’t wear it.” As I grow older, I understand more fully the
boundaries that I need to maintain with my clothing.
For you, it might
be your close friends who approach you sincerely with a concern about how
you’re dressing. Or your husband, who can testify to what clothing would make
him nervous to see you wearing around other guys. Or the Holy Spirit may
convict you through your conscience. Or at this point in time, you may be perfectly
comfortable with the way you’re dressing, and you won’t need to alter it. Some
helpful questions: “Is this outfit loving to myself and those around me?” “Do I
feel beautiful and dignified wearing this?” “Do I invite others to see me as a
precious child of God?”
So modesty rules
can be different for each person? I believe so.
I believe that God has different standards of modesty for a mature
believer than for a new believer who just entered into the faith. For the new
believer, modesty is not high on the list of what she needs to understand. Down
with the centimeter measurements! Just obey the Lord.
And in case you
were wondering, swimsuits still make me mad.
Holy Father, I submit myself to you in every way. I want to surrender the clothes I wear and my attitude about them to you. Please guide me.
Holy Father, I submit myself to you in every way. I want to surrender the clothes I wear and my attitude about them to you. Please guide me.
Amen.
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