Thursday, August 29, 2013

Christian Woman, Pursue Christ Alone

By Lauren Minor
As a teenager and young college student, my life was very much consumed with people giving me advice about relationships. 
I didn’t want to be focused on finding a Christian guy to ‘pursue me’, but I was sent a message that I should be. The more women told me, “God will bring you a man if that’s your desire,” the harder it was to set my mind on things above, not on earthly things.

Waiting on a man gives our faith a very “me-centered” focus. All of a sudden it’s about God providing ME with a relationship…God providing ME with a happily ever after. And while He is fully capable of providing both of these things, it is not the picture of submission to Him we see in Scripture, nor is it the goal of our faith. 

The pressures of an ideal relationship and potential marriage cause girls to make lists of qualities they want in a guy (I’ve been guilty of this). Because apparently the God who created us, who is “intimately acquainted with all we do” (Psalm 139:3), needs us to give Him a little reminder sometimes of what we’re attracted to. And as if that isn’t bad enough, girls pray over their lists…instead of spending time praying for those who don’t know their Savior. I could be mis-interpreting Christian books I’ve read, but I’m pretty sure one of them encouraged me to do this.  When did Christianity become about ME?

Our purpose is all about HIM. Allow Him to use you in whatever way you can be the most fruitful in your fleeting time here on earth. Trust me (no, trust Him), He knows the desires of your heart. But our utmost desire should be to serve Him, not for Him to serve us. We were created to glorify God, make much of His name, and enjoy a personal relationship with Him. 

Our calling given in Scripture is to GO and make disciples. Over and over we’re told to share the love that we’ve received with those who don’t know of the hope we profess. We’re also told that God will equip us with all we need to accomplish His purpose here on earth. Yet a message is being sent to young women and youth saying, “Don’t WORRY girls…God will show you who your husband is going to be. Wait on God for him.” And yes, of course we are called to wait on the Lord, but specifically waiting for a GUY is different. 

If we trust in the Lord and have full assurance in His ability to provide, then we should GO and make disciples, knowing that if we will be the most fruitful in a relationship leading to marriage then He will make that clear. And if we are to be single our whole lives because we can accomplish His purpose more effectively that way, then that is what we are to do.

Waiting on the Lord does not mean waiting for Him to provide us with OUR desires. It means being faithful to our calling in Scripture and allowing Him to provide the rest. Christian girls need to hear a new message. Our God is so much bigger than the little genie we like to make Him sometimes. We like to think of Him as someone we can go to when we need a favor or need assurance that someday something will happen. This is so far from our purpose.

Be obedient to His purpose for your life, and He will equip you with all you need in doing so. He wants us to lead fulfilled lives. He wants what’s best for us…and that’s HIM.  The most loving thing He will do is move us to a place where we cherish Him more than anything else. So why are we still chasing worldly things? Sometimes our desires reflect a worship of the created over the creator. 

We cannot seek our highest satisfaction in anything of this world. 

It’s destructive to the human soul to take a created thing and make it an ultimate thing. I think a better line than “Do you trust God with the pen of your love story?” would be “Do you trust God with the pen of your life? Will you be completely fulfilled in your love relationship with HIM and allow Him to decide what comes next?”

“So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his Kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:31-33)

We don't delight ourselves in the Lord in order to get something else, just like we don't seek first the kingdom to then gain something in return. We have an eternal hope and joy, so why settle for a temporary one?

As a wife I’m held to the same call I was before: glorify God and make much of His name. I have been given a partner in this journey, but my aim and ultimate goal remains the same. I realize my ultimate satisfaction can be found in Christ alone. As a wife, I finally see the importance of girls pursuing Christ in their singleness, so that they can be intimately acquainted with Him in their marriages as well. 

Marriage is the most amazing thing I’ve ever known because I get to see my husband how he is behind closed doors when no one is watching. I see him cry over lost people, find him buried in our closet praying, and hear him asking God every day to make him into a more Godly man. I see his PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP with Jesus, and I want it. I want to know God more because of how Austin knows Him. We must know how to individually pursue Jesus now, so that we’re still pursuing Him in our future.

SEEK FIRST HIS KINGDOM and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Lord I pray that you would be our utmost desire. More of You, a walk with You daily, a higher satisfaction in You... 


Raised in Chicago, Lauren Minor took part in children's ministry and worship at her local church, and in 2008 she moved to Texas to attend Texas Christian University. Lauren is married to an amazing man of God--the college pastor and young adult director at their church. Lauren is a middle school math teacher in the metroplex, and thanks God for the opportunity to work with young people who may not know Him. Follow her on Twitter @LaurenFayeMinor.

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