Last summer, I sat on my bed and cried unto exhaustion.
Never had I felt so alone. So low. So completely and utterly tired from feeling so wayward. Yes, I was walking with the Lord, seeking His face, going to church, and spending time with community--but never had my sense of loneliness been so apparent.
This was about eleven months into my time in New York City. So many aspects of my life had changed abruptly. A long relationship ended. Auditions resulted in continual rejection. The four jobs I worked left my energy spent. My left knee was injured. And I was thirteen hours away from the people I loved the most--my family.
Above all, I felt that I was not being used for God's glory. That all my gifts were being wasted. And that I had no understanding of His path for me.
All seemed darkness at that moment.
I cried and cried until the tears went dry, feeling utterly defeated and alone. I wept a simple question to the Lord: "God, what do you want from me?"
To no response.
Have you ever been there? That dark, lonely place of isolation and defeat where God seems so far away from you? Where the enemy has influenced your soul with eerie whispers of "You are alone"?
I would not be surprised if you have been in that place of darkness. It is a very real battle we fight in this imperfect life. The one where we believe the lie--even if just for a moment--that God simply does not care enough to intercede on our behalf. And we succomb to the untruth, even blindly. We do not realize that it is being used to destroy our hope. Our one hope in Christ.
Ladies, this lie is so heavy on my heart today because I, myself, have been blinded by its attack. If we do not expose it, it will threaten to seep its way into our minds, changing the way we view God's character. And God wants us to see through its deceit because it simply is not true.
Let's break down the lie YOU ARE ALONE. There are actually a few components to this lie, as well as several truths on which we must dwell to gain victory over it:
The LIE: "Where is the good in my situation?"When the enemy tricks us into thinking that God has abandoned us, our circumstances seem unbeatable. Now, there are some of you enduring extremely rough times, and this is not to discount their difficulties. But when we believe that we are left alone, even the smallest, most daily of blessings are overcome by attitudes of defeat.
The TRUTH: GOD IS GOOD.He never leaves our side. His character is trustworthy, and his faithfulness stretches to the skies. Because He is good, we can trust that he uses even pain and loneliness for our sanctification. We must expose the lie by trusting that God is indeed good in all He is and does.
The LIE: "I have to figure this out for myself."We are blinded into believing that the outcome is up to us. Satan plays on our fleshly inclination to be self-sufficient: "If God won't, then I will!" Just like Eve chose to take matters into her own hands in Genesis, so we rely on our own ability to alleviate the present darkness. I spent weeks toiling over the logistics of my circumstances and weighing my options...and it only confused me more.
The TRUTH: GOD IS SOVEREIGN.You need not figure it out alone because He has it already solved! Psalm 26:3 says, "You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in you." Praise God for who He is, and stay your mind on Him--instead of thinking you have to solve the problem alone.
The LIE: "There is no hope in this place."The lowest place of doubt is when we feel there is no hope left. Once the enemy has gotten us to this place, if allow ourselves to stay there, he will devour us. 1 Peter 5:8 says, "Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour".
The TRUTH: GOD IS HOPE.Because death itself was defeated on the cross, we have the power of Jesus to defeat our adversary! We are told to "hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful" (Hebrews 10:23). It is finished! Nothing can separate us from the love of God in Jesus Christ.
My sisters, let us dwell on the truth that GOD IS WITH US. He is "I AM", our ever-present Father whose very nature is to BE! You cannot be anywhere that God is not. In fact, Jesus promised to be near us always in Matthew 28:
"And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."
Let us expose this lie each and every time it tempts us to blindness. Let us hold fast to the hope that we are never alone!
Heavenly Father, You are good. You are sovereign. You are hope. We ask that You would reveal any lies that we have been blinded into believing lately, especially the lie about You abandoning us. We confess that we have doubted Your presence in difficult times. But we hold fast to our one hope in Jesus, and we proclaim victory over our circumstances! Show us the truth.
When have you believed the lie that God has abandoned you?